The Saturday 7

What a miserable week. 

1. I obviously spoke too soon last week when I declared my cold "better already" and "fast moving." It was just playing me. I felt off on Sunday, and then woke up Monday with almost no voice and the beginning of a cough. It was a long day in the library, trying to read aloud to three classes when I could hardly talk above a whisper. I worked at Once Upon on Tuesday with the help of cold medicine. By Wednesday, though, I was feeling really awful. I seriously considered calling in to Once Upon, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I could function. I wasn't puking or feverish. So I chugged some cough medicine and went to work. That night the cough really hit me full force. I was up for two hours in the middle of the night hacking my guts out. Again, I considered calling in to work on Thursday morning, but again I couldn't bring myself to inconvenience anyone. It was honestly a brutal day, and I counted down every minute until I could go home and get back in my bed. 

Finally, we had Friday off of school and I was able to sleep in and spend the day resting! I still have a lingering cough. It's not the worst I've ever had, but it's annoying and disruptive. 

2. To compound my misery, Justin left Tuesday afternoon for his soccer tournament in Ohio and didn't get home 'til 8:00 last night, so I was single-momming it all week. I held it together until Thursday. I was so exhausted and so looking forward to parking Levi in front of the TV after school so I could collapse into bed for a couple hours. Imagine my dismay when Levi got sent to the office at school that day for being disruptive/disrespectful in class. This is not the first time it's happened, so he already knows that his punishment for being sent to the office is no screen time for the rest of the day. 😭 Why must his punishments punish me as well?? I seriously considered caving, but disrespect toward teachers is a major pet-peeve of mine and I want him to know that particular behavior has painful consequences. I turned on an audiobook for him when we got home and lay down on the couch. Someone was praying for me, because he ended up finding something to do while I dozed off for a while. He created a whole carnival that Lena and I played with him after my nap.

Spoon racing lanes

Bucket bonanza

Target practice

3. This one may be controversial, but all week while I was sick and dreading going to work, I kept thinking, "Seriously? This is what feminists fought for? I'd take being a 50s housewife over this any day!" 

Feminism didn't do us any favors. Now, not only do we have to do the cooking, cleaning, household errands, etc, but we also have to work to contribute to the household income!

I don't even work full time, and I've decided it's for the birds. Last week I got so behind on the laundry that Levi and I both ran out of clean underwear and socks. 🤦 I clearly need to work on my time management skills.

4. And now that I've come out as an anti-feminist, let me solidify it with this bit of wisdom for the teenage boys reading my blog (as I'm sure there are many). Are you looking to snag a wife? I've got a foolproof 3-step plan for you:

1. Get married young. Real young, while your wife is still unrealistically skinny. Buy her a tiny little ring to fit those tiny little fingers.
2. Knock her up a few times so she gains a whole bunch of weight. (Copious amounts of Dr Pepper and a kicker of Zoloft can expedite this.) 
3. Even if she randomly loses 15 pounds due to IBS/potential colon cancer, she'll never be able to get that tiny little ring off her now significantly less tiny finger, and she's yours for life! 

This may or may not have been inspired by a true story. 

That baby ain't never coming off.

5. All of this feminist talk is likely a reaction to my sudden guilt over abandoning my children and outsourcing their education. Lena had a field trip to Lansing this week. I went with Lucy four years ago when she went on the same trip, but I couldn't go for Lena because I had to work. But also, Pinterest has been randomly targeting me with homeschooling content. Like to the point that I'm starting to ask God if he's preparing me for something. The more I work outside the home, the more I long for the greener grass of staying home whatever the cost. But I'm self-aware enough to realize that's unfounded optimism. Haha. I hated homeschooling. It's like baby fever. I only remember the good parts, conveniently forgetting the terrible stuff. And truly, I wouldn't want to give up my job in the school library, which I would have to if I homeschooled. So Pinterest is just going to have to work harder on their algorithm. I'm not falling for their tricks.

6. Have you seen the forecast for Halloween? It's not looking pretty. 

So today, some of the Cousin Crew decided to take advantage of this weekend's nice weather by hitting some Trunk or Treats in our area. I took Lena and Levi costume shopping weeks ago and was so excited when they voluntarily chose matching costumes for the first time ever! 

It's Woody and Jessie!

Next year we'll have two more cousins in the Halloween picture! 💓 (Two of my nephews are expecting babies.)

7. Sorry for the negativity today. I'll make up for it with some pics and memes:

Halloween is my least favorite holiday, and I refuse to buy decorations or really embrace the whole "creepy/scary/evil" theme. But so many of the houses on our street go all out, and Levi has been dying to decorate. He and Lena finally took matters into their own hands this week and created their own decorations. While they were setting up, our next door neighbors were putting out their own display and they gave the kids some of their leftovers. 

A graveyard. Lena came up with funny causes of death, transcribed them on paper headstones, then laminated them all to protect them from the elements.

An elaborate spider web made of yarn, with Barbies caught in it. 

A bonfire? Again with the laminated paper fire. Haha.

The couch eating Stella

Lena and the girl-gang at their field trip

Terrible snapchats

A little something to lift my spirits this week. 😁

I don't let Levi do YouTube, but he has hundreds of games on my phone. I literally saved this meme last night and then woke up this morning to Levi handing me my phone and saying, "I think you missed some messages." I had 44 missed texts from my sisters making plans for Trunk or Treat today. 😂 Also, they know my sleep habits and Levi's phone habits:

This is for my brother

And this is one from my brother. 😂

Seriously. I have seven years to get my hair cut, acquire some pearls, and stock up on sweater sets.