Saturday, June 28, 2014

The Saturday 7

1. I was in a weird mood all week. I did almost no housework, cooked one meal, and felt desperate to get out of the house every day. So we went to the park, the library, the video store, Kelly's house, Goodwill, and KFC. And yesterday, we had friends over to swim all day. Lucy loves it when I get in these moods. Haha.

2. On Wednesday I went to yoga all by myself because Kelly couldn't make it. And I did my best headstand ever! Usually the instructor has to hold me in place so I don't tip over, but this time she got me steadied, then I held it by myself for a long time. Go me! 

3. Lena has been an absolute grump all week. Both of her top eye teeth popped through in one day, so I figured that was most of the problem. But she still had a fever all day after her teeth came in. That night, she woke up coughing and I knew she had a cold. The poor kid gets the most horrendous cough - it's like she loses her voice and does this scary barking cough. Last night I was up with her 4 times and at one point she sounded like she was majorly wheezing. But then she had a coughing fit and the "wheezing" went away, so I think it must have just been gunk rattling around in her chest. Yuck. Stupid summer colds.

4. I got my Usborne books order in the mail today. Such a fun package!! I pulled out 4 books for Lucy and 3 for Lena. The rest will be saved for Christmas. Lucy gasped with delight when she saw the Wedding Sticker Book and spent the next hour and a half doing every single page. Lena has very little interest in books, which breaks my heart, but she has read her books with me a few times this week. I will make her a reader!!

5. I have been tormenting myself about where Lucy's going to go to school next fall. (2015) My number one choice is still for her to go to Algoma, but the more I look at our finances, the more I'm realizing we're just not going to be able to afford it. I haven't applied for aid yet, so there's still hope that we'd qualify for a lot of help, but I'm not planning on it. So the other options are public or homeschooling. One of the reasons I love Algoma is that Kindergarten is 3 full days. I can't imagine Lucy going from being home with me 24/7 to going to school all day every day (at public school). She cries when I drop her off to her one hour class at church every week! So I feel like I need to know now if she's going to go to public school, so we can do some kind of transitional preschool or something before then. But I don't really want her to go to preschool this year. And I really really don't think I would like homeschooling. I'm going to try it for a year for preschool. Maybe I'll surprise myself and totally love it, but I'm not counting on that. Oy. Decisions.

6. We had small group last Saturday. We've been meeting with this same group of people from high school for 7 years, I think. It's so fun to see how much our lives have changed. When we started meeting, not everyone was married yet. And no one had kids. Now we're all married and everyone except my sister has kids . Almost everyone made it to small group this time and brought their kids.
Jackson and Harper
Lucy and Presley
Lisa pulling the gang.
Once all the kids got put to bed/sent to the babysitter, the adults had some fun:
Bob and Kris
Braden and Libby
We played a game where one spouse was blindfolded, and the other had to direct them to pour a cup of water into a container. It was harder and more hilarious than we expected. Haha. The point, of course, was the importance of listening and communicating, and we were given the challenge of spending 30 minutes with our spouse this week talking about something other than the logistics of our day to day lives. This is something Justin and I really struggle with. He gets up at 4:30 every day for work, so he's in bed by 9:30. Lucy doesn't fall asleep until at least 10, and Lena still sleeps in our room (because of Lucy's night owl tendencies). I rejoice in the alone time I get after the girls are in bed, so I really don't want to go to bed at 9:30, hence Justin and I don't spend a ton of quality time together. He has Fridays off, though, so we made it a point to go sit outside away from technology Thursday night this week. Missy gave us a list of questions to ask each other as kind of a starting point/check-in for our marriage that was really helpful. And we ended up talking for over an hour. Yay for quality time!

7. I'm going to end on a depressing note, but I want some audience participation in this one. News came out this week about a popular Christian radio host getting arrested for some horrible, disgusting criminal activity. It became kind of a talking point among my friends about how we have to protect our kids and can't really trust anyone. At small group on Saturday, we got to talking about sleepovers, and a few people suggested that they're not sure they'll allow their kids to ever go to sleepovers. I was a little baffled at first, but am starting to wonder if there's some validity to their concerns. On Tuesday, we had a play date with a friend and talked even more about it. That afternoon, these two links popped up in my twitter feed: What to Do About Sleepovers  and Should You Allow Your Children to Go to Sleepovers? Both articles were against sleepovers. The latter seemed a little extreme to me, citing incidents where kids were kidnapped from sleepovers never to be seen again. I'm sorry, but my kids could be kidnapped from their bedrooms at home. But both articles made me wonder if the childhood fun is worth risking incidents with brothers or dads or uncles who are in the house. I hate having to worry about that kind of thing and I like to think that the parents of Lucy's friends - who I know and love - are totally above reproach. But this Christian DJ thing makes you realize more than ever, that people are capable of hiding horrible secrets. Ugh. What do you think? Will you let your kids go to sleepovers?

Saturday, June 21, 2014

The Saturday 7

1. Lucy was so cute about Fathers' Day this year. I told her a few days beforehand that it was coming up and asked her to make a list of present ideas for Daddy. I didn't really think she'd do it, but she came to me later with a stack of papers with ideas drawn on them. Here were her ideas: a CD, a movie, pens, a book, a bottle of Mt. Dew, and a drum. Lol. That last one is totally random. Justin doesn't play the drums. I told her she could pick 3 off her list and we'd go shopping. She picked the CD, movie, and pens. We went to Family Christian and found a table of $5 CDs. I narrowed down the choices to 4 I knew Justin would be interested in and let Lucy pick. She picked Third Day. Then we went to the dollar store and she seriously deliberated over which pens to buy. Haha. Finally we went to Wal-Mart and searched their $5 bins until Lena started screaming and throwing things out of the cart. Even Lucy was done by that point, so I made the final choice on the movie. As we were walking to the checkout at Wal-Mart, Lucy spotted some cool glass bottles of Mt. Dew. They were only a dollar so I let her get one of those too. She was so excited to wrap it all and hide it under her bed until Father's Day. She was seriously counting down the days til Justin could open his presents. Then Sunday morning, she insisted we make breakfast in bed, and beamed from ear to ear while Justin opened his gift. So so sweet. :-)

2. We had kind of a crazy week this week and didn't eat dinner together as a family a single night this week. Monday night was World Cup at Justin's parents'. The girls and I met Justin there, but they had all eaten by the time we got there. Tuesday night Justin had soccer (he's playing in a summer league) and Lucy and I went to a bridal shower. Wednesday night was yoga. Justin fed the girls and I ate when I got home. Thursday night Justin went fishing and the girls and I got dinner from Speedway. Haha. And then last night was girls' night with my sisters! Tonight we're all going to small group, so we will technically eat at the same time in the same place, but not at home. Haha.

3. One night this week, I went upstairs to go to bed late at night and was greeted by a full moon - and not the kind in the sky. Lucy suddenly decided to start sleeping naked. Lol. I laugh every time I walk up the stairs to that sight. If it wasn't totally inappropriate I'd share the hilarious picture I took. Graduation board?

4. My friend Kelly and I finished our 5 week yoga session on Wednesday. We had bought a $25 Groupon for 5 classes, and just wanted to test the waters and see how we liked it. We both loved it so much that we just bought the 10 class Groupon so we can keep going! (The 10 class one is $45, but if you use the code FUN15 by tomorrow you get 15% off, making it only $38.25 for 10 classes!) If you want to join us, we go Wednesday nights from 5:15-6:15 (although the instructor said she's thinking about changing the time to 5:30-6:30). We're both seeing results already in our strength, balance, and flexibility, and seriously having so much fun!

5. I found this on Pinterest this week and was struck by how true it is:

At first, it seems unfair. Why should I have to suffer so others can get off the hook? But, first of all, isn't that kind of the message of Christianity? Jesus died so we could get off the hook? Also, though, it gives suffering such purpose. Usually trials are good for personal growth anyway. How cool that someone else might benefit as well? For me, it's something so minor. Justin and I were young and stupid and didn't know any better, so we went to Christian colleges and wracked up thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars in debt. We're still paying for it - both literally and figuratively. You've heard me whine numerous times about how our student loan payments are more than our house payment was. Anyway, as a result of our bad decisions, my siblings have made much better college decisions and saved themselves so much of my pain. This message goes so far beyond that, though. I love redemption. 

6. Thank you to everyone who ordered from my Usborne books party. I ended up with $90 in free books!! It was seriously the easiest party ever and I highly recommend it to anyone who has friends with kids. All I had to do was invite my friends and talk it up on facebook a little bit. Cara (the consultant) did the rest! Go here and click "schedule your show" if you want to do it yourself. (Or let me know and I can hook you up with Cara through facebook.)

7. This week's pics:

Big girl ponytail.
Lucy snuggling with her favorite person in the world after a late night swim in the pool. 
Big girl pig-tails
Shrieking with joy by the pool!
Ok so apparently I only take pictures of Lena. Lol. Lucy gets mad anytime she sees me pointing the camera at her.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

The Saturday 7

1. If you're my friend on facebook, you're already aware of our kitten saga, but I want to record it here as well. Last week my dad found a bunch of kittens in our wood pile. We've seen a cat roaming around the barn/backyard lately but none of us realized it was pregnant until my dad noticed the kittens. At first, they were pretty well hidden so we couldn't see all of them very well, but we eventually got to see all five. They are soooo adorable. The girls and I went outside multiple times a day to see them, and Lucy decided to name them all. She's super creative and they ended up named "Elsa, Anna, Sven, Olaf, and Kristoff/Hans." Haha. (She also asked me this week if we can name our next baby Elsa or Anna. Hahaha. I hope her obsession has waned by that time or I'm going to have a hard time talking her out of it!)


Lena loved them, but was a little rough. Haha.

A few days ago, we went out to see them and they weren't there! I assumed the mama had had enough of us messing with her babies and relocated them. But we haven't seen hide nor hair of them since then. I've seen the mama cat around, but no babies. She either hid them really well (which wouldn't be hard to do on our 2 acres of outbuildings/grassy fields) or something came and ate them. :-S Don't tell Lucy the latter. She thinks they'll show up again any day.

2. My depression was a little bit better this week. I made it a point to go to bed before 10:30 most evenings and I got out of the house a lot. But I'm still not feeling myself. I think I'll probably call my doctor on Monday to see about upping my prescription. Might as well enjoy it now while I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding and don't have to feel guilty about drugging my child.

3. I've been trying to stop blowing up people's facebook newsfeeds with pictures now that I have a smartphone, so have been posting more to Instagram. But I don't have many friends on Instagram, so I figured maybe I'll feature a point in my blog with some of the highlights so you don't miss out on anything. ;-) Here are this week's:
It's rest time and Lucy's life is ruined.
Today's #daytimedrinking is brought to you by #groceryshoppingwithchildren
Sweet sleeper
4. I finally wrote some blog posts about our last few Bible lessons (click the caption to see the post):
The Fiery Furnace 
Daniel in the Lions' Den

5. I came across this article this week and really loved this quote about mothering young children:  

 "This is the time when your babies need you and want you and enjoy having you around. This is the time when they will cling to your legs as you try to leave the house without them and run into your arms when you come home as if you’d been gone a lifetime. You will never be more loved and wanted and needed as you are right now…in this moment."

That last line really gets me, and it's something I've been reminding myself of often lately.

6. This is another article from one of my favorite bloggers with suggestions for extremely picky eaters. I wrote last week that I'm cracking down on the girls' eating habits. It's not going super well. Lucy pretty much doesn't eat dinner anymore. Lena's not doing much better, although she's not quite as bad as Lucy. Tonight we made homemade pizza. Lucy helped me roll out the pizza crust (storebought in a can), spread the sauce on, and covered it with cheese and pepperoni. She went outside while it was cooking and came in saying, "That pizza smells so good!" But when I set it in front of her, she said "I don't want it" and pushed it away without so much as a lick. Grrrr. At least Lena ate the pizza. But she wouldn't eat the chicken I made this week or any of the vegetables we tried (Brussels sprouts, snow peas, peppers). 

The article suggests the "save it for breakfast" method, where if the kid doesn't eat what she's offered for dinner, she gets it again for breakfast and on and on until she eats it. Someone actually suggested the same thing to me on facebook recently, so I should probably take that as a sign, but I just don't know if I have it in me. 

So I decided we're going to try this method for a while:

Lucy responds really well to sticker charts and incentives so I'm hoping this will help. I don't know what to do with Lena. I think she's too young to understand "You eat what I make or you eat nothing at all." I give her our dinner every night and almost every night she throws it on the floor. I usually try a few more times before giving up and making her peanut butter and jelly. Which you can imagine goes over super well with Lucy. Ugh. Kids. 

7. It's not too late to order from my Usborne Books party! (That link will take you to my specific party page and anything you order between now and Monday night at 10:00 will go toward my party.) They have an insane selection and my wish list keeps growing and growing. Go check it out! 

Daniel in the Lions' Den

This is one of my favorite Bible stories - probably because I have such fear issues. Since Lucy inherited that from me, we decided to re-iterate the same verse we learned last week (especially because we didn't work on it very much last week and needed to do it again -haha).

Verse: "I will not be afraid. You are with me." It's short and sweet, so once we went over it a few times, she got it quickly. I write our verse on the chalkboard every week and this one is great for Lucy because she can kind of sound it out - especially the first few words.

We talked about Daniel and the Lions' Den when we did the letter L, and have already done one fun craft. But lion crafts are pretty easy to come by on Pinterest, so we found another one without too much trouble.

We started by painting some paper plates yellow. While we waited for them to dry I cut out scary lion faces, and Lucy cut strips of paper for the lions' manes.

Then we glued the faces and manes on:
I tried to encourage some patterning of orange/yellow/orange/yellow, but Lucy likes to do her own thing. ;-)
Later in the day, we hung the lions in our craft/game/storage closet:

We turned off the lights and acted out the story. I was Nebuchadnezzar and Lucy was Daniel. We talked about how scary it must have been for Daniel to be thrown in a dark cave with hungry lions, but how he obeyed God even though he was scared.

Then Lucy came out of the den, I armed her with a roll of duct tape (yellow is all we had on hand) and she pretended to be the angel shutting the lions' mouths.

I love how our verse fit with both the Fiery Furnace lesson and this one. God was physically with these men when they were in unthinkably scary situations. And he protected them for their obedience.

The Fiery Furnace

Verse: "I will not be afraid. You are with me." Psalm 23:4b 

The week we started this lesson Lucy happened to have gotten some glitter glue from the dollar store. I let her play with the glue while I read the story from her Bible. 

Finished project: golden idol on top, Shad, Mesh, Abed, and the Angel on bottom.

Then we decided to make some crayon melts to illustrate what happens in a hot environment.
I got the idea from this website: You basically just unwrap crayons, put them in a muffin tin, throw them in the oven at 250 degrees and wait a few minutes for them to melt. I had Lucy feel the oven when we put them in and talked about how hot the fiery furnace was and how scared the men must have been. After the crayons were melted, I swirled the liquid with a toothpick and let them set for a few hours to cool. The nice thing about crayons is they shrink as they cool, so I popped the muffin tin in the freezer for a few minutes and they came right out. 

Lena wanted to play with muffin tins too.
Some cups and cheerios kept her entertained for 10 minutes at least. Haha.
Later in the week, we did another fiery furnace craft. I came up with this idea by myself, but it was kind of a flop. Haha. I printed out a picture of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and glued it on one side of a paper. Then I looked up "homemade invisible ink" on Pinterest and drew a picture of an angel next to them.

The angel did not end up being very invisible . . .
The Internet said to use equal parts baking soda and water. As you'll see, it did not work very well. The fun part of this was that you have to activate the invisible ink with something containing citric acid, so we did what the website suggested and used kool-aid!
Lucy was amazed that our "paint" smelled so good and immediately asked to drink it. Haha.

Fail. The angel disappeared instead of being activated by the kool-aid. I don't know what happened!
In theory, this could have been an awesome project, and I still recommend it if you can find a better recipe for invisible ink. I love the idea of the men starting out alone, being covered in "fire" and the angel being revealed!

Lucy adored the kool-aid paint and spent at least an hour mixing the colors and pouring them all over everything.

We finally moved to the bath and I gave her a bunch of styrofoam cups and packages of kool-aid and let her have at it. The bathroom looked a little bit like a crime scene by the time she was finished (red kool-aid probably wasn't the best choice), but it cleaned up easily and wasn't sticky since it didn't have sugar in it. Win!

Check out our Daniel crafts, too!

Saturday, June 7, 2014

The Saturday 7

This entry is a little more TMI than usual, so my male readers should consider themselves forewarned. Haha.

1. In reading up on so many homeschool websites lately, I've seen a major emphasis on sensory play - aka messy play. I am not a fan of messy. I think Lucy has fingerpainted approximately once in her life. I don't let Lena use her own fork or spoon. I don't even really like play-doh. But this week, we discovered a brilliant form of "sensory play" that even I can live with. I spent too much time in the sun last weekend, and don't tan like I used to, so I ended up with a big ole sunburn. Lucy overheard me asking Justin to put lotion on my back and said, "I want to put lotion on your back!" Ding ding ding! Sensory play. She has spent many moments this week slathering me in lotion. How about that for a win/win situation? 

2. After spending last weekend in my swimsuit, it became apparent that wearing it while nursing two babies over the course of a few years has made it less suitable for those years that I'm not nursing, if you know what I mean. Haha. So I declared Monday night date night and told Justin he was taking me shopping. Of course we had to get dinner first, since it was date night. So we stuffed ourselves full of Olive Garden, then went swimsuit shopping! You can imagine how that decision lent itself to my self-esteem. Ha. I'm lucky to have a husband who doesn't mind shopping, so we actually had fun. I tried something new for the first time in years: a one piece swimsuit. I traditionally avoid one pieces in favor of a tankini with shorts to cover my thighs. But I'm embracing my stretch marks and cellulite this year. Haha. I ended up buying this one
Yes, that is me modeling it. ;-)
The fringe does a decent job of distracting from my butt and thighs, so that's a bonus. I'm still showing more than I want to, but I'm over it. I have cellulite because I enjoy Dr Pepper. I have stretchmarks because I carried two beautiful, huge babies. Haha. I also got a great deal on some yoga pants from Kohl's. Orignally $40, I paid $8.40! Woot!

3. Sunday marked 5 years since my first miscarriage. I wrote a post about it here if you care to read it. I realized recently that I wrote a whole graphic post about my second miscarriage, but have never really documented my first. So now I have. 

4. I jotted down four milestones about Lena this week, so I'm going to include them all in one mini-update point: She has figured out how to call for me from across the house - usually when she's stuck somewhere, like at the top of the stairs or on a table she climbed on. Haha. It's adorable to hear her little voice calling, "Mooooommmmmmyy!!!" She's also started calling for her baby when she can't find her. It is so cute. She walks around calling, "Baaaaaby! Where arrrrrre you?" I love it. 

She finally moved up to size 3 diapers this week! Haha. At 16 months old. And her 4th tooth popped through: top left. Those top teeth aren't all they're cracked up to be, though. They just cause trouble when she falls off of tables:
Fell off a table at the library and bit her lip. Lots of blood!

5. I've been cracking down on the girls' eating habits again. (I know, how many times have I said that?) I realized this week that Lucy only eats 3 different meals and Lena's diet pretty much consists of fruit and cheese. (Lots of fruit - I was trying to make dinner one day this week, so handed her a container of raspberries. She ate the whole thing. Lol.) So I've been feeding them as usual for breakfast and lunch, but making them eat what we have for dinner. This night was lasagna. Lena was a big fan. Lucy licked one bite then chose to go hungry the rest of the night. Ugh.
I had a few people suggest smoothies on my facebook post asking for suggestions. My brother Luke actually made some smoothies this week. Lena guzzled it, but Lucy took one sip and refused any more. It was strawberries, bananas, and orange juice - all things Lucy loves separately. Grr. That girl. 

6. This week was rough on me, depression-wise. We had a good beginning of the week. Monday through Wednesday I got a lot of housework done and did a really good job with lessons and activities for Lucy (post about our series on Daniel in the Lions' Den coming soon). I was feeling accomplished and productive and worthwhile. Then Thursday came and everything went downhill. Lena had been waking up at 5:30 all week, which was bad enough, but on Thursday she got up at 5:15. I am so frustrated by it. I used to just ignore her 'til 6, but 45 minutes is a long time to listen to her crying, "Mommy! Up please!" in her pathetic little voice. I think a huge part of the depression surge was lack of sleep. I spent all day fighting back tears, and feeling trapped by motherhood. I feel so stupid in retrospect, but at the time it's practically suffocating. I physically feel like there's a weight on my chest and something clawing at my throat. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the fact that there's no escape. When Lena wakes up at 5:15, I have to get up with her. Justin leaves for work at 5, so I'm the only other option. When she cries "Mommy, up please!" all day every day, I have to either listen to her cry or spend my day carrying her around. When Lucy whines, "plaaaaaay with me" 6,000 times a day, I have to die to myself and close the computer/turn off the TV/peel myself off the couch to spend time with her. And then the guilt just adds to the depression. Why don't I want to spend every second with my kids? Why can't I just cherish and enjoy these moments? I recently saw the movie "Moms' Night Out" and nearly cried at one part when the mom says, "I dreamed about this life. This is what I've always wanted. My life goal was to be a stay at home mom so why am I so unhappy?" Yes! Here's the thing: I'm not always unhappy. More often than not, I love my life. But then these days of depression creep up on me and take me by surprise. They're honestly usually a result of PMS. So when I started to feel it this week, I actually got out my calendar to check. I still have two weeks to go. So it can't be PMS and I can't be pregnant. So then I was even more depressed that I can't blame it on hormones!!  Haha. (And for the record, I am not trying to get pregnant. I just know some of you will read this and say "You must be pregnant." Haha.) I'm feeling better today. Justin let me sleep in yesterday on his day off and I've been trying to get to bed earlier. Plus I've been staying busy. My sisters came over yesterday to hang out by the pool and tonight I have Ladies' Night Out at church to look forward to. I'll snap out of it soon. Just keeping it real. :-)

7. To end on a much happier note, I have to tell you about my Usborne party. Usborne is a home-party type children's "bookstore." My friend Cara is an Usborne consultant, and she's doing a party for me online. I never host home-parties because I'm so nervous that no one will show up or buy anything and it'll be a waste of the consultant's time. But when Cara offered to do an online party, that was much more up my alley. It's a week-long event on facebook, where Cara highlights certain books and answers people's questions, and everyone can shop through her website at their leisure. There are so many great books - from educational to fun to activity books. I think I'm going to get mostly sticker books and maze books and activity type books for Lucy. And maybe another touch and feel book for Lena. Anyway, here's the link if you want to check it out: Sadie's Usborne Party. And if you want to be invited to the event on facebook so you can see the specials or ask Cara any questions, let me know. (She also posts pictures of the inside of a bunch of books, which you can't always see on the website.) 

Sunday, June 1, 2014

5 Years

Today marks 5 years since I lost our first baby. I was so excited to find out I was pregnant. I took the test in Chase and Lyla's bathroom and was shocked when the positive result popped up. On my way home from work that day, I bought a digital test because I didn't believe the line test. The word "pregnant" appeared almost immediately and I stood in the bathroom with tears in my eyes. 

I was determined to keep it a secret and do all kinds of fun reveals. I knew I should have waited to hear a heartbeat or something, but I couldn't resist revealing on Mother's Day. So we told everyone. They were all so excited for us and I was on cloud nine. 

I was so shocked to start bleeding at 9 weeks. It was bright red, which I knew was a bad sign. It was the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend so I had to wait to go to the doctor. Justin came with me to the ultrasound. I remember the tech saying the baby was only measuring 6 weeks and there wasn't a heartbeat. I don't think I was ever offered a D&C. I was already passing it on my own, so I figured it'd be over soon. 

Miscarrying was the most painful experience of my life. I didn't realize it would be so similar to labor. I had "contractions" - waves of pain coming every few minutes that left me writhing on the couch. My sister finally picked up my prescription for me and I got some relief. I remember she brought me cheetos and Dr Pepper and get well balloons. Later, my mom came over with Chinese and watched Gilmore Girls with me. Justin's parents got me a beautiful plant, and his grandparents sent the sweetest card with an Olive Garden gift card.

The fear was the worst part. My mom and sister had both gotten pregnant with ease - usually when they didn't want to. Haha. Neither of them had ever lost a baby. I couldn't imagine why it was happening to me. I immediately started wondering if I'd ever be able to carry a baby to term - my greatest desire since I was a little girl. 

I also experienced a fair amount of anger. I was doing everything right. I got married first. We waited 4 years until we were financially stable. I had multiple family members who were having babies out of wedlock. Why was I being punished?

I got pregnant with Lucy two months later and many of my fears were relieved. But at the beginning of June every year, I remember that first baby. We didn't find out the gender. We never gave him/her a name. But he/she is not forgotten.
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