The Saturday 7

1. Didja miss me last week? We were at our 13th annual VK Family camping adventure. Even after all these years, I still leave every year wondering why people think camping is fun. Lol. Is it because we don't have a camper? Or a fancy dune buggy? Is it not disconnected enough since our phone data still works? All weekend, I just kept thinking, "We could do this at home a lot more comfortably and with a lot less work on my part." Justin was on his phone the whole time (mostly reading), Lucy read by herself all weekend, Lena did a lot of yard gymnastics and reading. I read and scrolled on my phone and wandered around aimlessly feeling bored and restless. I tried to hang out with the family some. I played a couple card games, and sat by the bonfire with them, and chatted with some cousins at the pool. But it's an effort for me. I've been part of this family for 22 years, and they are all lovely people, but I only see them 2-3 times a year, so I'm not super close with anyone. But then there's Levi . . . Eventually I realized that we go camping for Levi. He bounded out of bed every morning before 8 and ran right over to where the VKs circled their ~~wagons~~ campers. He spent all weekend playing with anyone who would entertain him, petting all the dogs, and eating all the ice cream. He has none of the inhibitions Justin, the girls, and I have. He marched right up to one of Justin's cousins and asked him to go kayaking with him so they could catch turtles. They were gone for hours. On Sunday morning, he rode his bike to church with a group that was going. That afternoon, he asked someone else if he could ride on their boat and go tubing. Everyone is gracious and accommodating, but it makes my skin crawl thinking about how he imposes himself on people that are too nice to tell him no. The poor kid is just so starved for constant entertainment - especially with other people. Today he told me he wishes he had a twin brother (he's been watching the Suite Life of Zack and Cody - lol). When I asked why, I figured he'd say "so we can prank people by switching places." Instead he said, "So that I'd always have someone to play with." 🤦It's rough being the only extrovert in the family.

Justin and Lena climbed to the top of a dune while Levi was tubing.

3 reading, 1 begging for someone to play with him

Lena got to fulfill a life goal by riding a horse. I think it was actually a pony, and they just walked in a circle with a guide, but now she can say she's done it.

Badminton

Turtle races!

So much ice cream - and I didn't have one solitary taste.

The girls appeared at the campfire long enough to make s'mores.

The only way I'll "camp" - in this rustic cabin. Electricity? Yes. Bathroom or running water? No. I take what I can get.

2. Looking back at the things Levi did without me last weekend makes me realize something else I don't like about camping - it's all so "adventurous." We don't own kayaks, and I would never ask someone to borrow theirs. But even if I did, I've kayaked once in my life and would be very nervous to just take off with a 9 year old companion. I can't tell you the last time I rode a bike, and no part of me is interested in showing up to church windswept and saddle sore. Tubing behind a boat? Never done it. Especially not on the boat of a person I hardly know. I was just out of my element all weekend. You wanna go thrift shopping, play card games, discuss theology, or eat at restaurants? I'm your girl. You want to do physical things in the great outdoors? That's a no from me, dawg.

3. Here's the Keto update of the week . . . I think I'm giving up. I just can't do it. I lost 5ish pounds in the first couple of weeks, but my weight fluctuates that much on its own, so I'm not super impressed. When I didn't continue to lose weight, I realized I was focusing too much on "net carbs" instead of actual carbs and needed to scale back even more. When I still didn't lose any more weight, my dietician said I need to restrict my calories even more. I've been staying around 1400, but she said if I want to see real weight loss, I need to bring it down to more like 1100. This is getting out of control. And I just don't think it's worth it. I missed out on sooooo much good food while we were camping. I doubled my grocery budget last month because of all the specialty foods and expensive meat. And I have been sooooo ornery. Yesterday and today, especially, I've really started melting down. Will Justin love me any less if I'm not smoking hot in a bikini in Cancun? Probably not. Is it worth the money and stress and depression to lose a few pounds that won't even be noticeable? Definitely not. Maybe it'd be a different story if I felt so different on this diet. But it'll be 5 weeks on Monday and I have not noticed any benefits. I'm just as exhausted as always, and take a nap almost every day. I'm just as itchy, and continue to shred my legs like a confidential document every night. I still have occasional headaches. I still have bad breath and greasy hair. I'm still depressed. Actually, I have more ailments now than before. My legs have started cramping (despite the expensive electrolyte/magnesium supplements I'm taking!), alllllll that cheese is doing a number on my digestive system, and I feel like I'm bruising even more than usual. This started as a bug bite on my thigh. But apparently I scratched it so violently that it turned into a killer bruise?

And yet, despite all that, I'm soooo hesitant to actually throw in the towel. I don't know. We'll see. Stay tuned.

4. More bad news: my 40th birthday is in 34 days, and I've only read 24 nonfiction books. Think I can crank out 16 more in 34 days? I might still try. I just need to find some short books . . . I finished "Prayer" by Timothy Keller this week. I didn't love it throughout most of the book, but the last couple of chapters were so practical and full of resources that I ended up giving it 4 stars. I'm also about half way through "The Green Letters" by Miles Stanford. It's a thinking book, though, so I can't zip through it. Anyone have any nonfiction recommendations that are shortish and easyish?

5. This has been such a depressing entry. (You know what they say - write what you know.) And I don't really have anything else to report, so here are your weekly pics and memes: