Church of the Small Things (Melanie Shankle)

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I read Shankle's first book, Sparkly Green Earrings years ago on the recommendation of one of my favorite bloggers (Happy Home Fairy). I admittedly don't even remember what the book was about, but I know that I loved it. Shankle has since written a few more books, but she apparently fell off my radar until this most recent one. After reading Church of the Small Things she has cemented herself as a must-read-author in my book, and I will be placing an order at the library for the past two books of hers that I missed.

This girl is FUNNY. She can ramble for pages about her dogs (I hate dogs) or her career in the pharmaceutical sales industry (I'm a SAHM redneck who had to spell-check "pharmaceutical"), but no matter the subject matter, her writing keeps me riveted, crying with laughter, and wanting more. And yet, she also packs profundity (it's a word - I checked) in the most unexpected places.

At the beginning of each chapter she includes a quote from an outside source. There were quotes from Tolkien, Gandhi, and Ralph Waldo Emerson. But there were also quotes from Andy Bernard (The Office), Tim Riggins (Friday Night Lights), and Frank Costanza (Seinfeld). I think that's called "Well-Rounded."

And now, because she does it so much better than I, I'm going to share some of my favorite parts. (Spoiler alert: there are a lot.)

Life is what is happening all around us while we're waiting for the thing we hope will give us some sort of inner peace, contentment, or joy. (13)

From a list she titles, "Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was a Kid"

14. Baloney sandwiches on white bread with Miracle Whip and crushed Doritos in the middle are gross and will one day be a socially unacceptable thing to eat. (39)

I love that phrase: socially unacceptable thing to eat. I forget that there was a time when people just ate what they liked and not what was trendy or admirable.

On what she calls "emotional pornography" (an apt moniker if I ever heard one):

With social media, it's never been easier to get a glimpse into strangers' lives and decide their marriage is better, their house is cleaner, their kids are better behaved, while we are just a step away from living in a van down by the river and we don't even care because our children are so ill-behaved that it would seem like a vacation. (76)

How true it is. Especially the vacation in a van down by the river . . .

Here she quotes Max Lucado, but I've never heard this before and was amazed by it:

Mercy gave the prodigal son a second chance. Grace gave him a feast. (90)

And then came chapter 13: To Exercise or Not to Exercise? That's Not a Real Question. I think I underlined more in this chapter than any other. Lol. Despite the fact that Shankle appears to be a size two and her legs are the size of my wrists on her back cover photo, she shares my love of junk food and hatred of cardio.

Even the quote she chose to begin the chapter is apropos:

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it a "lunch." (149)

This story resonated to the core of my being, which is why I'm going to take the time to type it all up for you:

I'm kind of like this guy, John, at church. Someone brought in a couple of dozen doughnuts and set them on the same table as the coffee urn to share with everyone, and John remarked to me later, "I went to go refill my coffee and accidentally ate two doughnuts before I remembered I'm supposed to be gluten-free." In that moment, I wanted to embrace him in a side-hug and whisper, "You, good sir, are my spirit animal." Because I would totally love to run a marathon someday and put one of those 26.2 bumper stickers on my car, except I keep forgetting that I don't like to run. Thus I don't ever want to run twenty-six miles at one time. Or over the course of two years. (150)

Next, this business proposal that I could totally get behind (that'll be funnier in a minute):

As for eating gluten-free? I'll take all of the gluten that the rest of the world has given up. I'd like to open a bakery and name it Glutes and have an ad slogan that declares "All Gluten, All the Time." (155)

Relieved to know I'm not alone with this:

And then there's the whole CrossFit phenomenon in which people aren't content to just do their "Workout of the Day" or "WOD" as they call it, but also need to post videos of themselves doing it on Facebook . . . You do you, CrossFit devotees, but with every video you post I'm only motivated to unfriend you instead of challenging myself to a series of workouts that seems likely to cause a serious knee injury. (158) 

(I've done that. Hidden people on facebook who post too much about exercising. Sorry. I love you. But I just can't.)

The chapters on her grandparents and her dad were probably my favorite. For all her hilarity, the sentimental stuff hits me even harder. I read the stories about her grandparents and immediately wanted to buy a journal and start jotting down my memories. She talks about the legacies they left, and even though I didn't have a stellar relationship with any of my grandparents, there are still memories there that I don't want to forget. And then when she talked about her dad. Oy. If I wasn't medicated up to my eyeballs, I would've cried. This paragraph especially got me. For me, it's true for my dad, but also my brother. I remember crying in the front pew with my sister while waiting for his wedding. We kept saying, "Why are we even crying?" And mostly it was because of the love and support people showed him. Hearing the things we knew to be true about him from others' lips. And Shankle says the same thing:

It's one thing to know that your dad is your hero, but to hear a room full of people echo the same sentiments will send you straight to the ugliest of all the crying. (175)

Speaking of being medicated up to my eyeballs . . .

Thanks, social media, for taking fear and anxiety to an entirely new stratosphere. You are the best. One quick question: where can we send the bill for the medication we have to take every night in the hopes of turning off our brains long enough to get some sleep without worrying about all the ways we and our loved ones could possibly die? (190)

So basically, this book is hilarious and relatable, profound and emotional. I highly recommend it!


*I was given this book for free in exchange for an honest review.*