The Saturday 7
1. Justin and I had a glorious weekend away. I drank so much Dr Pepper I'm pretty sure I gained my 5 pounds back. (I didn't weigh myself because I don't really want to know . . .) I watched a lot of HGTV, he did a lot of shopping at Bass Pro, we wandered the mall together, ate good food, and saw The Greatest Showman (loved it!). It was a much needed break from the sickness dominating this house.
2. Unfortunately, while we were gone, Levi got sicker and sicker. He and I both had a cold, but he spiked a fever Saturday night and was miserable all day on Sunday. My mom could tell his ears were bothering him, so I figured his cold had just made its way to his ears and he needed some antibiotics. (He always gets a fever with his ear infections.) We came home earlier than planned on Sunday night so I could run him to Urgent Care before it closed, but he was sound asleep on my mom when we got home, so I decided to risk it and hope he'd sleep. He actually slept pretty well and we got in to the doctor Monday morning. He only had an ear infection in one ear, but the Dr. asked if he'd been exposed to the flu. When I explained that I'm pretty sure Lena just got over the flu, she had him swabbed to check. Sure enough: Influenza A. She wrote us a prescription for Tamiflu that I was hesitant to fill. He was actually doing much better on Monday. His fever was only 99, he was eating and playing and acting almost normal. I filled the Tamiflu and antibiotic scripts but decided not to give him the Tamiflu. I'm glad I didn't, because his fever was gone by Tuesday and he recovered quickly. I never would've guessed it was the flu if not for the swab. Justin and I still have the respiratory junk, but neither of us ever got the fever or felt like we were dying. And Lucy has stayed totally healthy. My mom, however, got the flu from Levi - fever, chills, cough, etc. It feels like the never-ending illness!! And now we have to go back to the ENT to discuss tubes again since this was Levi's 6th ear infection. Ugh.
3.[You can skip this point if you're sick of me whining about my depression. I don't blame you. I'm sick of it too.] This dumb cold I have makes me so exhausted and I feel like I can't get anything done. I did the bare minimum of laundry, dishes, and cooking all week and spent most of my time sleeping, sitting in a chair playing games on my phone, or vegging in front of the TV. I keep trying to tell myself that my body needs the rest, but everyone else around me is sick too, and they still go to work and power through it. I have major guilt about being a lazy baby. Which leads to depression. It's been bad again lately. Of course one my major depression symptoms is lethargy. Which just leads to more guilt about being lazy. But I've also been thinking way too much. One of the facebook groups I follow posed this question this week: How old are you and what have you accomplished in the past decade? 90% of the responders shared their college and post-graduate degrees, dream jobs, house buying, and traveling. You know what I've accomplished in 10 years? Dropped out of college, nannied for a while, lost my job, bought and sold a house, moved in with my parents for what was intended to be temporary but has turned into 5 years, haven't traveled anywhere other than Florida (thanks only to the generosity of family), consistently struggled with depression, and gained 20 pounds. Realizing that has given me a case of FOMO (fear of missing out). Weren't my 20s supposed to be my greatest decade? Is this all my life will ever be? Maybe I should've experienced the "career life" before having kids, because even if I have it someday, it will be as a working mom, not a "career woman." And I don't even want to do anything. I can't think of a single career I would want to spend the time, money, and effort to work toward. How depressing is that? Are we ever going to have our own house again? Are we ever going to be able to travel farther than the US border? Am I ever going to feel fulfilled as a mom or feel like I'm not constantly failing my kids? I hate myself and my stupid selfishness and laziness so much, but I never change. I never do anything about it. I continue to let my kids watch hours of TV, I continue to pick up after them because I'm too lazy to enforce chores or personal responsibility, I continue to let Lucy eat the same 5 unhealthy things because I'm not strong enough to force her to eat anything else. And then I hate myself for being depressed. Aren't Christians supposed to have joy? Maybe if I would stop being such a glutton and force myself to give up sugar, gluten, and dairy, the depression would melt away. That's what all my friends do. But I don't have the willpower. Ugh. I'm a hot mess.
4. Sorry, that spiraled out of control. How about the books I read this week? Happily Ever Ninja by Penny Reid (fun, smart romance, good storyline, but totally rated R - beware), A Match of Wits by Jen Turano (ok), and The View from Rainshadow Bay by Colleen Coble (good). #affiliatelinks
5. Last night was girls' night with my best friends. We went to El Burrito Loco and ate a loco amount of delicious Mexican food, then went back to Missy's basement for girl talk until we were all falling asleep. I've said it before, but I'll say it again and again. I'm so thankful for a group of godly girlfriends going through the same stage of life as me. I wish we could have girls' night about once a week!
6. Levi identified his first color this week. I gave him a yellow sucker and he kept saying, "Lolo." I couldn't figure out what he meant until I finally asked, "yellow?" and he responded with a big smile, "ya!" He's been able to point out yellow on other things too. But no other colors. And I realized this week that I think his favorite color is purple. When I give him markers, he always chooses the purple one. We went to the library on Wednesday and there was a whole bin of markers to choose from. He went through and picked out 3 purple ones. Haha. Ok!
7. Pictures
2. Unfortunately, while we were gone, Levi got sicker and sicker. He and I both had a cold, but he spiked a fever Saturday night and was miserable all day on Sunday. My mom could tell his ears were bothering him, so I figured his cold had just made its way to his ears and he needed some antibiotics. (He always gets a fever with his ear infections.) We came home earlier than planned on Sunday night so I could run him to Urgent Care before it closed, but he was sound asleep on my mom when we got home, so I decided to risk it and hope he'd sleep. He actually slept pretty well and we got in to the doctor Monday morning. He only had an ear infection in one ear, but the Dr. asked if he'd been exposed to the flu. When I explained that I'm pretty sure Lena just got over the flu, she had him swabbed to check. Sure enough: Influenza A. She wrote us a prescription for Tamiflu that I was hesitant to fill. He was actually doing much better on Monday. His fever was only 99, he was eating and playing and acting almost normal. I filled the Tamiflu and antibiotic scripts but decided not to give him the Tamiflu. I'm glad I didn't, because his fever was gone by Tuesday and he recovered quickly. I never would've guessed it was the flu if not for the swab. Justin and I still have the respiratory junk, but neither of us ever got the fever or felt like we were dying. And Lucy has stayed totally healthy. My mom, however, got the flu from Levi - fever, chills, cough, etc. It feels like the never-ending illness!! And now we have to go back to the ENT to discuss tubes again since this was Levi's 6th ear infection. Ugh.
3.[You can skip this point if you're sick of me whining about my depression. I don't blame you. I'm sick of it too.] This dumb cold I have makes me so exhausted and I feel like I can't get anything done. I did the bare minimum of laundry, dishes, and cooking all week and spent most of my time sleeping, sitting in a chair playing games on my phone, or vegging in front of the TV. I keep trying to tell myself that my body needs the rest, but everyone else around me is sick too, and they still go to work and power through it. I have major guilt about being a lazy baby. Which leads to depression. It's been bad again lately. Of course one my major depression symptoms is lethargy. Which just leads to more guilt about being lazy. But I've also been thinking way too much. One of the facebook groups I follow posed this question this week: How old are you and what have you accomplished in the past decade? 90% of the responders shared their college and post-graduate degrees, dream jobs, house buying, and traveling. You know what I've accomplished in 10 years? Dropped out of college, nannied for a while, lost my job, bought and sold a house, moved in with my parents for what was intended to be temporary but has turned into 5 years, haven't traveled anywhere other than Florida (thanks only to the generosity of family), consistently struggled with depression, and gained 20 pounds. Realizing that has given me a case of FOMO (fear of missing out). Weren't my 20s supposed to be my greatest decade? Is this all my life will ever be? Maybe I should've experienced the "career life" before having kids, because even if I have it someday, it will be as a working mom, not a "career woman." And I don't even want to do anything. I can't think of a single career I would want to spend the time, money, and effort to work toward. How depressing is that? Are we ever going to have our own house again? Are we ever going to be able to travel farther than the US border? Am I ever going to feel fulfilled as a mom or feel like I'm not constantly failing my kids? I hate myself and my stupid selfishness and laziness so much, but I never change. I never do anything about it. I continue to let my kids watch hours of TV, I continue to pick up after them because I'm too lazy to enforce chores or personal responsibility, I continue to let Lucy eat the same 5 unhealthy things because I'm not strong enough to force her to eat anything else. And then I hate myself for being depressed. Aren't Christians supposed to have joy? Maybe if I would stop being such a glutton and force myself to give up sugar, gluten, and dairy, the depression would melt away. That's what all my friends do. But I don't have the willpower. Ugh. I'm a hot mess.
4. Sorry, that spiraled out of control. How about the books I read this week? Happily Ever Ninja by Penny Reid (fun, smart romance, good storyline, but totally rated R - beware), A Match of Wits by Jen Turano (ok), and The View from Rainshadow Bay by Colleen Coble (good). #affiliatelinks
5. Last night was girls' night with my best friends. We went to El Burrito Loco and ate a loco amount of delicious Mexican food, then went back to Missy's basement for girl talk until we were all falling asleep. I've said it before, but I'll say it again and again. I'm so thankful for a group of godly girlfriends going through the same stage of life as me. I wish we could have girls' night about once a week!
6. Levi identified his first color this week. I gave him a yellow sucker and he kept saying, "Lolo." I couldn't figure out what he meant until I finally asked, "yellow?" and he responded with a big smile, "ya!" He's been able to point out yellow on other things too. But no other colors. And I realized this week that I think his favorite color is purple. When I give him markers, he always chooses the purple one. We went to the library on Wednesday and there was a whole bin of markers to choose from. He went through and picked out 3 purple ones. Haha. Ok!
7. Pictures
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| Lena got the game Headbands for her birthday and we've been playing it all the time. |
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| Trying to plan girls' night. |
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| The girls' clothes bar couldn't take any more . . . |
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