The Saturday 7

1. What a week. We started with a glorious day at a friend's cottage for Memorial Day. It was 90 degrees and the water was so warm.

Fishing with Grandpa

I finally bought Levi a Puddle Jumper life jacket. It worked so well to keep him upright in the water - unlike normal life jackets that keep him on top of the water, but usually face down or stuck on his back like a turtle. Haha.

Kayak rides with Daddy

Lena caught a fish!

Pontoon boat ride

2. On Tuesday I had a doctor's appointment to re-evaluate my depression. My new doctor's office requires an assessment every 6 months to see if I still need the drugs. They had me fill out a questionnaire and apparently my answers raised some red flags because they recommended that I up my dosage . . . again. I don't love the idea of being even more strongly medicated, but I'm willing to try it to see if it really makes a difference. I'm also nervous about the side effects. I've never really noticed any, but will I now that I'm taking more?

3. I was thankful for the mood stabilizing drugs this week as we finished up at the girls' school. It was way harder on me than I expected. Especially Lena for some reason. I'm not necessarily sad that the girls are growing up and getting older. I'm just sad to be done with their school that I love. I hate taking them away from their friends and teachers. I hate that they're going to miss out on class parties and field trips and specials like art, music, and gym. I'm worried that when everyone goes back to school in the fall they're going to be sad that they're missing out and resent me for making them be homeschooled. And I feel like everywhere I go lately people say, "So you're really going to homeschool, huh?" I hate doubting our decision and keep telling myself that we've made the commitment and I have to do it for at least a year. But it was hard to say good-bye at school this week.

Lena with her wonderful teacher and her "completion of pre-school" certificate.

4. I've also been having some weird anxiety issues lately. I hated being on the pontoon boat on Monday and was beside myself with worry that Levi was going to fall off or Lucy was going to crash us into another boat while she was driving. They all went out again after dinner but I opted to stay on shore and trust Justin to take care of them. And the weirdest thing is my fear of falling asleep. I hate lying in bed at night just waiting for unconsciousness to take over. I hate being out of control of my dreams. It's so dumb because I love sleep. I have no fear in the morning when my alarm is going off and I want to keep sleeping - only at night when it comes to giving up control. So stupid.

5. Justin and I both have nephews who are seniors this year. Tayton (my nephew) graduated on Thursday and Jevin graduated on Friday. Since we didn't want to deal with babysitters we decided to split duties. I went to Tayton's graduation and Justin went to Jevin's. He got the much better end of the bargain. I love my nephew and am happy to support him, but secular graduations are the worst! It was 2 hours long, there were so many speeches (full of stupid "advice" like, "Be kind to everyone and the universe will be kind to you."), and then you have to clap for half an hour as all 200 kids get their diplomas. Jevin's graduating class was less than 20 kids, so Justin was in an out in an hour!

Color coordinating with the graduate.

We love an excuse to take a siblings picture! (Can you see Libby's little baby bump? She's 24 weeks and thinks she's huge. #eyeroll)

6. I've been slowly losing more weight. I finally hit the 5 pound mark this week. But I've been slacking off on my water and vegetable consumption. My excuse about the vegetables is that it was too hot this week to use the oven and that's really the only way I like veggies (roasted). I was hanging out with some mom friends on Wednesday and we were commiserating over how we're insecure about how our husbands fell in love with us when we were young and skinny and we feel like they can't possibly love our mom-bods. They all found consolation in the fact that they love their husbands even though they've gained weight, though. But I don't have that comfort! Since Justin's been working construction he's been dropping weight like crazy and building muscle like a mad-man. Plus he's getting so tan (at least his arms, neck, and face - haha) that he's pretty much a sexy beast. (That was for you, my small group friends.)