The Saturday 7

1. Well we survived the first week of summer break. I have feelings. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with gratitude that Justin works in the unbearable heat all day so I can sleep in and sit at the pool with my kids. Sometimes I want to crawl out of my skin from Levi and Lena touching me nonstop. Sometimes I want to lay on the kitchen floor and cry when Lucy loses her mind over food options and screen time limits and chores and treating her siblings and me with kindness and respect. At points during the week, I felt good about our tentative summer "routine." Sleep in. Let the kids watch too much TV. Spend the afternoon at the pool. Dinner that no one but Justin and I eat. Lucy stomps to her room while I read aloud to Lena and Levi. More screen time. Bed. At other points during the week, I have that pit in my stomach and lump in my throat that no one's kids watch as much TV as mine do. That no one lets their 11 year old have a (non-activated) cell phone. That no one lets their kids eat as much sugar as I do. I'm constantly torn between fighting for Lucy's physical health vs. her emotional health. I can't find a universe in which they coincide peacefully . . . all those feelings in one week. #needmorezoloft #alreadyatthemaxdose #beermestrength

2. Despite my whining we did have some fun this week. It was a beautiful week for the pool, and we spent a ton of time swimming. On Monday, we got to hang out with Nash, Saylor, Nova, Presley, and Harper!

Love these BFFs!

3. On Tuesday, the forecast called for rain, so we ran errands instead of going to the pool - we hit two different libraries and the barber shop for some haircuts.

4. Wednesday found us back at the pool with friends, and was the birth of Levi's newest phobia. He's been afraid of the train horn for a while now, but on Wednesday, it was suddenly out of control. I had such high hopes that at least one of my kids didn't get the anxiety gene. His just kicked in later than the girls' did. 🤦 I think the carnival jumpstarted his fear of loud noises. He's not actually afraid of the train itself. He knows, logically, that it can't get off the track and hurt him while he's swimming in the pool, but he's terrified that it will suddenly blast its horn and he won't have his ears covered. (The train does go by quite close to Niki's house.) And thence this began . . .

"Is it coming? I think I heard it. What's that sound? Was that the train? Come inside with me! I'm scared! I'm scared!"

Once again I say, of all people I should be the most compassionate when it comes to illogical fears. Alas, my hard heart refuses to relent. It's so frustrating.

5. On Friday, the girls got to go to a sleepover at Presley and Harper's house. Lucy has done sleepovers many times, but Lena's never successfully made it through the night at anyone's house but my parents' and sister's. We all had high hopes for Friday, and she finally did it!! She had fun, stayed the whole night, and never even sent me any sad, pathetic texts! Lol. Levi and I spent some time at Nash's house (him) and a VBS meeting (me). Then we picked up Justin and went to Applebee's for dinner, followed by ice cream for dessert.

6. Today has been hard on me emotionally (as point number one indicated), so we got out of the house and went to the beach (minus one cantankerous child who shall remain unnamed).