The Saturday 7 - lots of pictures!

Birthday Week! I have taught Lucy well, and she claimed more than one day to celebrate her birth. It was a blast.

1. Sunday rounded out our crazy weekend. The girls made me breakfast in bed and presented me with my mother's day present: this book. Lucy read it to me while I ate:

They added their handprints and signatures to the front of the book.

We had Levi dedicated at church:

Lucy refused to go on stage with us.

He wore an adorable outfit:

That evening, we celebrated Mother's Day and Lucy's birthday with my family.

And we discovered faceswap on snapchat . . .

My dad and Libby. I will never not laugh when I look at this picture. Lol.

Justin and me. I look good with a beard! 

We also got to see Tayton getting his blood thinner injections:

The girls were amazed that he didn't even cry!

2. On Monday, Levi had his 2 month well-child appt. He weighed in at 10 lbs exactly which only puts him in the 2nd percentile. Oy. He made it to 22.5" which is 13%. He had to get 3 terrible shots. Lena reminded him that Tater didn't cry when he had his shot, but Levi didn't care. Lol. The doctor is concerned about his slow weight gain and continued puking. She referred us to a pediatric gastroenterologist, but I think I'm going to wait a while. I looked up Lena's 2 month stats. She was 10 lbs. 1 oz. and started out almost 2 pounds bigger than Levi! I think my kids are just small/slow gainers. I was the same way and look at me now! ;-)

3. Wednesday was the big birthday! I'm a mean mom and made Lucy go to school on her birthday, but I woke her up with this:

Breakfast in bed and one present.

Levi and Lena were still sleeping, so Lucy and I had a sweet talk about the day she was born and how excited we were to meet her.

She had a great day at school and Justin got home early from work so she could open the rest of her presents.

I love how excited she got about everything!

Per her request, we went to McDonald's for dinner and Burger King for dessert. Lol. Expensive taste! (She got a coupon from her teacher for a free ice cream cone at BK.)

I love this girl.

4. To make up for having to go school on her birthday, I told her Thursday could be her "do what you want" day. She spent most of it watching Netflix and Youtube on her tablet. Haha. She had mac n' cheese for the 3rd day in a row. We played Guess Who. She got to skip rest time and give me an epic makeover. All the makings of a 6 year old's perfect day. :-)

5. And then yesterday was an exciting first for her: her first non-family sleepover. She got invited to a birthday party for a girl from our church and has been so unbelievably excited ever since she got the invitation 2 weeks ago. I, on the other hand, have been extremely anxious. Lol. Imagine that. I didn't have any qualms about her safety at the sleepover, but I was anxious that she'd be anxious! Did you read in her 6 year interview that one of her biggest fears is being away from mommy and daddy? I was so afraid all the girls would settle down to go to sleep and Lucy would lay there wide awake and crying and wanting to come home. Apparently, I overestimated my importance to her though. Lol. She did fine! Stayed all night without a problem and bounced back home full of tales about how much fun she had. Whew!

6. Today has been hard on me. Lena hardly slept all night. I finally brought her to bed with me at 4 am just as Levi was waking up. I went out the living room to feed him and just as he was finishing/drifting off to sleep he pooped. Grr. The worst. As I was changing him, I heard little footsteps and there was Lena - at 4:30 am, saying, "Whatcha doing, Mommy?"

Levi eventually dozed off, but Lena was wide awake, watching TV for the next three hours while I slept in bed next to her (and Justin was running the Riverbank Run!). Levi started fussing at 8 and I looked over to see Lena asleep on my pillow.

Such a strange morning. And it just threw me. The lack of sleep, my lack of control over Lena, the constant neediness of all my kids. I've been in a funk all day. I feel like I didn't even do anything. I sat in the chair next to the fire holding Levi while Lena climbed on me and I used every bit of strength I had not to scream, "Just stop touching me!!" I hate myself for feeling that way. I tell myself over and over that I'm going to miss this. That they'll never love me as much as they love me now. That I want them to grow up feeling loved and cherished and liked. But it doesn't help. I still want space and then I just feel guilty for wanting it. I came across this article on facebook tonight and found myself choking back tears.

But this letter isn’t a reminder to LOVE EVERY MINUTE  and LIVE IN THE MOMENT because one day it will all be gone. You get that. You’ve watched your tiny bundle turn into a toddler, you’ve packed away little onesies and big memories and I know you know your children are a precious gift from God. But honestly, there are some moments we don’t ever want to relive, there are some phases we won’t miss and there are some burdens of guilt we don’t need to carry.

You are normal. Yes, this season is beautiful and amazing. But it is equally hard. What you do in your boring, every day tantrum- filled life is important. You are molding, you are shaping. You are raising children who will eventually be able to wipe themselves. God willing.

It's the weirdest thing how I can mourn how quickly Lucy is growing up, marvel at how she can possibly be 6 years old, tear up at old pictures of her as a baby and wonder where the time went . . . and yet the days I'm in right now seem to drag by. You know, the whole: The years are short but the days are long paradox. I want to stop time when Levi is smiling and cooing and snuggled on my shoulder, when Lena wraps her arms around my neck in bed and says, "I love you so much, Mommy," when Lucy says things like "You can celebrate on my birthday, too, since you had to carry me in your belly for 9 months." But I'd like time to speed up when Lena's hanging on my leg begging me to hold her while Levi's screaming and puking and Lucy's shouting from the other room, "Get me some milk!!" This motherhood stuff is not for the faint of heart. And I'm afraid that this is the easy stage. How am I ever going to survive the teen years??

7. I actually had a couple more articles to share, but it's late, this is wicked long, and I'm too emotional right now. Haha. So as usual, we'll just end with a few more pictures of my precious children and my wonderful life . . .

Sleeping on Daddy

Enjoying a little taste of spring (well, two of us were. Levi was annoyed.)

I should start wearing more make-up!

Birthday girl!

Hammock time (do I have any pictures of Levi being happy outside? lol)

Seriously, Mom? A pink Bumbo? #thirdchildproblems

Looking adoringly at Daddy.

Smothered by love

Fishing in the rain with Daddy while Lucy was at her sleepover. Lena was sooo excited to go fishing with her new fishing pole, and totally undaunted by the pouring rain.

Smiles!