The Saturday 7: The one where I get myself in trouble by being snarky

1. I forgot to tell you guys about the "Homeschool Mom" sample pack I got with my curriculum last week:

The jean skirt is a staple in every homeschool mom's wardrobe. Fortunately these are cheap at local thrift stores. I'm going to need one for every day of the week.
We're obviously throwing out the birth control. Now that we've committed to homeschooling, we're taking this lifestyle all the way. 3 kids is absolutely not enough. Fortunately we've got a good start with alliteration. Unfortunately we've strayed from strictly Biblical names. Never fear, we will soon remedy that with Lois, Laban, Lachish, Lazarus, Lot, Lebanon, and Laodecia.
The Beginner's Guide to Essential Oils is key for any new homeschool family. Down with traditional medicine. Have the sniffles? There's an oil for that. Behavior problems? Oil. Toxic mold? No match for Thieves!
Turtlenecks in every shade (and a pattern fit for every holiday) are the perfect complement to the jean skirt. Modest is hottest!
Holistic gardening not only saves money on groceries and traditional medicinal cures, it also equips homeschooling gardeners with superiority over inferior mothers who buy their vegetables pre-canned and full of MSG, BPA, and cancer-causing aluminum.

*BIG FAT DISCLAIMER* This is written purely in jest. I can make fun of homeschoolers now that I am one. If you love jean skirts, turtlenecks, essential oils, gardening, and quivers full of children, more power to you! Your life, your choices. You do you. ;-)

2. My wonderful husband put together my Ikea shelving unit Sunday night and I got right to work organizing it. I was totally unprepared, however, for how it set off a chain reaction of epic "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" proportions. I had to clear off a whole wall in our dining room, which required me to empty the girls' desk and a drawer-cart full of miscellaneous art supplies/papers/coloring books. I wanted to put the cart and desk upstairs, but the kids' bedrooms were so woefully out of control that I didn't have a place for them. So I spent an entire day cleaning and reorganizing upstairs before I could move the stuff up there. Then I re-arranged the dining room, re-arranged the bookshelves in my room, and finally filled the Ikea shelves to my satisfaction.

#worthit

3. Levi had his 2 year well-child checkup on Tuesday. He weighed in at 25 lbs (14th percentile) and measured 33" (21st percentile). The doctor is mildly concerned about his verbal development, but said we can wait 6 more months before we discuss interventions. And he has an appointment in a couple weeks for a hearing test/tubes consultation at the ENT. He still had fluid on his ear on Tuesday even though he hasn't had an ear infection in weeks. The doctor said it's likely that his hearing is somewhat reduced because of the ear infections and fluid, hence the verbal delays. I'm not too concerned.

4. A house came on the market on Thursday that I immediately sent to Justin. It's in my ideal location, for an ideal price, and has 4 bedrooms! It is impossible to find anything with 4 bedrooms in our price range. Of course there were only 2 pictures of the inside of the house and they did not look very promising (hello, wood paneling), but I'm getting desperate. Justin talked me out of going to see it because: money, patience, still paying for private school through July. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. It was at the top of our price range, so we wouldn't have paid any more than they were asking. And as of today it is already off the market, so I'm pretty sure it sold at or above the asking price. #mylifeistheworst #sellersmarket #firstworldproblems

5. I made a new recipe yesterday: Crack Chicken Noodle Soup. I'm not a big fan of chicken noodle soup, but this looked good and was perfect cold-weather comfort food. It doesn't truly have crack in it - just ranch dressing mix, which is essentially the same thing. I made the chicken in the crock-pot, shredded it in the kitchen-aid mixer (best Pinterest hack ever), then made the soup on the stove. I was so proud of myself for remembering to put the chicken in the crock-pot before I left the house to run errands. So imagine my surprise and confusion when I came home hours later to frozen chicken!

I forgot to plug it in!

6. In another installment of "Wow, my age is showing" I hurt my back cleaning the girls' room on Wednesday. I'm not even sure what triggered it - maybe carrying the desk up the stairs? But it was agonizing for a few days. I really, really need to work on repairing my core, but when it comes down to it, I'm never going to do anything in my free time other than browse Pinterest and watch Netflix.