Adventures in La La Land

1. Last week of summer break! I've made it pretty clear that I'm ready for school to start. I'm looking forward to getting into a routine, but I will definitely miss sleeping in. I had to get up early for an 8 a.m dentist appointment this week and I thought I was going to die. Next week is going to be real rough - especially on Lucy, who regularly sleeps until 1:00 in the afternoon! 2. About that dentist appointment . . . I have four cavities! 😲😬 Apparently all that Dr Pepper is finally catching up to me. In truth, the hygienist said it's almost impossible to prevent cavities in molars with deep pits like mine. She said I'm doing a great job brushing/flossing (which is hilarious), and the cavities aren't super deep. They just want to fill them before they get worse. So I get to go in for four fillings in October. The last time I got a filling, I had a reaction to the lidocaine and went a little crazy in the office. Do you think I can take xanax before the appo

1. I had another really rough depression week. It was really bad. At one point I decided to just let Levi watch TV until he got sick of it. 6 hours later I finally made him turn it off and dragged him to the pool. I've obviously reached my threshold for being home with my kids all summer, and admitting that makes me feel incredibly  guilty, which only leads to the downward spiral of depression. Our stinkin' pastor made an offhand comment in a sermon a couple weeks ago about how moms who want their kids to go back to school are lazy. And I feel like I've seen so many parents on social media bemoaning the last days of summer and saying how sad they are not to be with their kids all the time. Are people just liars or am I really that bad of a mom? When I hit rock bottom this week I was crying to Justin, "I'm not the mom I expected to be. And our kids aren't the kids I expected to have." So there's that. Today's dose of brutal honesty. And let me just

1. I'm really starting to feel like summer is ebbing away. Justin started coaching soccer again this week, which is always a sign that fall is near, we went school supply shopping, and I even noticed last night when I left work at 9 that it was getting pretty dark. At the beginning of summer, it wasn't dark at all when I left work at 9. 😭 I'm ready to go back to school, but I'll still mourn the end of summer - the weather, of course, but also certain parts of the laid-back, schedule-less atmosphere. As I'm writing this, it's 8:45 pm and Levi's running back and forth between our house and the neighbor boy's, hauling his Nerf guns in the wagon for an epic backyard battle. Usually we give him his melatonin at 8 so he'll be ready for bed by 8:30. But since he doesn't have to be up for school in the morning and he's not rotting his brain in front of the TV, we'll let him stay up late to play outside with his friends. I'll definitely miss