The Saturday 7

1. I feel the need to crank out this entry before we lose power. We're having lovely spring weather this weekend, including downpouring rain and forecasted sleet, freezing rain, and Ice-Mageddon. I made the mistake of going to the grocery store yesterday to grab a couple things and it was absolute madness. Apparently people are stocking up for the storm. If the ice ends up accumulating as much as they're predicting it's pretty much inevitable that we'll lose power. Thank goodness for a woodstove to keep us warm. It might be a fun adventure . . . for about an hour. Then my kids are going to lose their minds when they realize the TV and Internet don't work. Ha. (And me too, if we're honest.)

2. I had a rough depression week. The lethargy was out of control. I think the weather is partly to blame. We've had so few glimpses of spring this year. Usually by this time we've had a couple nice 70 degree days to remind us that summer is coming, but this year it's been all 30s all the time. It got to 56 on Thursday, so we attempted to go to the park (my rule is it has to be over 50 degrees - haha), but it was cloudy and windy and still way too cold. I honestly spent much of the week sleeping, wishing I was sleeping, or playing Yahtzee on my phone. My kids have been at each other's throats all week and making me question my decision to homeschool. And I'm in a rut in my spiritual walk.

3. We've been doing a sermon series at church on 1st and 2nd Peter for the past couple of months. I never realized how much Peter talks about suffering - both that it is inevitable, and that it is a powerful tool for growth. The author of Hebrews says that God disciplines those he loves, and James points out that we should actually have joy when we suffer because it means that God is refining us and drawing us closer to him. I've never really suffered in my life. Sure I had trivial relationship issues in high school, loneliness in my freshman year of college, a lifetime of battling fear and anxiety, two miscarriages, and a heaping helping of depression. But I've never faced death of a loved one, serious illness, or severe marriage problems. And if I'm honest, I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's only a matter of time until one of my kids is diagnosed with cancer or I'm paralyzed in a car accident or Justin leaves me for a skinnier, blonder woman. (Totally kidding about that last one. I have no fears about his fidelity.) I just joined a Bible study about anxiety. At first, I didn't think I really struggled with anxiety much anymore. My meds have it pretty controlled. I can drive without worrying my car is going to start on fire. I can sleep without worrying that there's going to be a carbon monoxide leak. I've even survived a couple years of camping without panic attacks that a bear was going to eat me alive. But I obviously have some deeper anxiety issues. Oy.

4. I read a couple books in the last two weeks. One was a re-read - An Aria for Nick. If you can get past the awful cover and sub-par publishing, it's a great book (especially once the action starts to pick up around chapter 6.) Hahaha. I didn't realize how many disclaimers I had on that book. The second was The Promise of Dawn by Lauraine Snelling. I loved her Red River of the North series and have read it a couple times. This book is the first in a new series related to Red River of the North. I wrote in my Goodreads review that it should've been a boring book. There was not much of a plot. But the writing is excellent and I love the details about pioneer life. It was astonishing to read how much work the poor women were responsible for. The main character was up before everyone else every day to make breakfast, then she never stopped working all day long - scrubbing and canning and gardening and cooking and spending days doing laundry and sewing and killing chickens and smoking meat. Yikes. I was kind of ashamed by my hatred of filling the dishwasher and folding the laundry after reading all that. [affiliate links]

5. Speaking of chores . . . I had a mini-revelation this week. Sometimes (often) I'm annoyed by the never-ending menial tasks I do day in and day out. Then I was thinking about the Easter story. The disciples and the women closest to Jesus were all together mourning his death. The men were probably eating food the women had prepared. They were probably having deep discussions about theology and the Messiah and the Scriptures. And what did the women do? They Martha-ed it up and gathered some spices to do the menial (stinky) task of preparing Jesus' body. I would've wanted to stay with the men and weep over my loss. But they got up and did what needed to be done. And because of that they were the ones to find the empty tomb, to see the angel, to be the first to see the resurrected Jesus! He met them in the menial.

6. Ok, this one is going to be major TMI, so my male readers are going to want to skip to the next point. Consider yourself forewarned . . . Part of my depression/lethargy this week stemmed from my stupid back pain. It's gotten bad again since lugging Nova around for a week. If I'm on my feet for longer than 15 minutes my back starts to hurt. I've also been really disgusted by my belly fat lately. It is out of control. I'm not kidding when I say I look 6 months pregnant. It's not just flab, it's perfectly round flab. I'm starting to recognize that the belly and the back pain are connected - and a result of Diastasis Recti and a weak pelvic floor. Ew. I also have a small prolapse and some nerve issues that are all related. I finally got fed up enough with it all that I did some research on how to repair it. There's a plethora of information on the Internet, but I decided to actually spend money on a 4 week program that had great reviews and looked really legit. I bought Abs, Core, and Pelvic Floor by Natalie Hodson. It's an e-book detailing the science behind diastasis recti and then a 4 week exercise program meant to heal it. I read it all in an hour and majorly regretted spending money on it. All the exercises are on YouTube! I didn't really need to spend $37 on an e-book with a bunch of science jargon. Oh well. I haven't started the exercises yet, because I can't start in the middle of the week. Haha. I'm going to try it for the first time on Monday. Stay tuned.

7. Pictures