The Saturday 7

1. Another beautiful week of summer in the books. We spent much of it at the pool, of course, but we also braved the beach for the first time this year! The beach used to really stress me out with 3 kids, but they're finally getting to the point that they won't drown if they tip over in the water, so it's not as terrifying for me. Lol. We went with a group of friends from church, and I actually got to sit and chat with the other moms for a while. (#nomorebabies) Because it's been so hot lately the water was really warm so I swam some too. It was a really nice day! (And no, none of my kids fell asleep in the car on the way home or slept well that night because they were tired from a day of sun and sand.)

2. When we haven't been swimming this summer, we've been watching Full House. I just discovered it on Hulu and decided it was time to introduce the girls to a staple of my childhood. Actually, they've seen episodes of it before at Kelly's house, but now we've been binge watching from the beginning straight through. It has probably been 25 years since I've watched it, but it's astonishing how much I remember - and how many lines I use from it to this day: "This is no fun, no fun, looking at the wall." "Give me back my money, you pig!" I think we must have had some episodes taped because a few of them we've watched have been more familiar than others. Such a fun - nearly wholesome - blast from the past. It's crazy to think that just 30 years ago this was Prime Time TV. I would never let my kids watch Prime Time TV now!

3. Justin's been making some major progress on the basement over the past two weeks. The painting is all done, and as of tonight the floors are done! He and his dad even put the vanity in the bathroom today! All that's left is trim and finish electrical and plumbing! You're going to have to wait on the grand reveal of the bathroom, but here are some of the in-progress pictures:

Levi got out his tool set so he and Lena could help. 💖

4. I bragged about my Words with Friend prowess last week and was put in my place this week. Haha. I also tried to set myself some rules this week and only play when my kids were in bed or doing their own screen time. I wasn't always super successful, and I cheated a little at the pool since they were entertaining themselves. Wouldn't it be nice if I could have a hobby I wasn't obsessive about??

5. Speaking of obsessions . . . I finally finished the first Harry Potter book!! My wonderful brother lent me his Audible username/password so I could listen to it when I wasn't able to read the physical book, and that really sped things along. It's not something I was dying to get back to like I usually am with books. So listening while multi-tasking was better than forcing myself to sit down and read. I'm still not sold on the Potter-mania. And I'm mildly surprised that Rowling became such a sensation after this book. Maybe it wasn't until a few books in that people really started going crazy. I don't know the history - except that the first one was published in 1997 - way earlier than I realized! I was in 7th grade then! It was well written. I appreciated the world she created, the humor, the heart, even the plot. But it's still a children's book in my mind (with a surprising amount of references to alcohol and drunkeness - is that a British thing?). I've been told that it really starts to get good around book 4, so I'll keep at it. If I watch the first movie will it give anything away from the next book, or are the timelines pretty cohesive?

6. And now for an edition of "Sadie Gets Real": This summer hasn't been all pool parties and popsicles. Well, it has, but behind the scenes I've also been struggling with a lot of depression. That's the part of depression that is often untold and, at least for me, the most frustrating. This is the life I've always wanted. Husband, house, kids, staying at home with them, going to the pool every day. If you had asked me 20 years what I wanted my 30s to look like, this would be it. So why am I consistently angry and overwhelmed? Why am I taking 150 mg of Zoloft daily and have weeks where I feel that I'm always near tears (but can't ever cry)? I've been so convicted lately about not enjoying my kids. Have you ever read that book No, David!? I think that's been Levi's life for the past year. I hate that I'm always screaming no at him (especially because it lessens its potency), but I literally found him running down the sidewalk in only a diaper one evening this week. (I heard the door open, waited a minute to see if he was just getting a toy from the yard, and by the time I checked on him, he was 3 houses down.)

I guess I should be thankful Levi was wearing a diaper?

And don't get me started on bedtime. It is out of control. Every single night ends with rage boiling inside of me. Every night I think to myself, "I can't do this anymore." Every night I wonder where I went wrong, how I have failed so incredibly, why my kids don't listen or obey. It usually takes us 3 hours to get Levi to sleep. How do we fix this?!?! Do you know how much puke I'd have to clean up if I left him to cry? And it's not just Levi. I don't want to record all my kids' failings for the world to read about, but suffice it to say that the fighting and whining and messiness is of epic proportions. Today, I went shopping by myself for 3 hours. When I came home, Lena and Levi had opened nearly every game we own and dumped them out, took 2/3 of the clothes out of Lena's closet, dumped out a laundry basket full of clean, folded clothes in the living room, took all the blankets off their beds, and hid a suitcase full of all Lucy's clean socks and underwear! I hounded Lena and Levi for a solid hour to clean up the living room. She put the game pieces back in the boxes and he picked up the dumped out laundry, then I spent another hour doing the rest. While I was still doing that, Lena decided to paint. And of course Levi joined her. You see where I'm going with this. I know this is nothing new. I know every mother deals with this and I have it good in a lot of respects. So why does it affect me so strongly?! Ugh. How often do I spew like this? About once a quarter? Sorry. Hopefully it's out of my system for a few more months.

7. On to happier things . . .

Safety first while vacuuming. 

Look, Oriental Trading, I realize it says right in your name that English probably isn't your first language. But you need to find a better editor. I'll pass on the sweaty treats. 

Why is this so true?!

I promise you, my children have never seen The Office . . .