The Saturday

1. Oh February. My least favorite month of the year. For the last two years we've taken a vacation somewhere sunny and warm in the last week of January to bolster me through the rest of the winter. This year, however, we're saving our money for a 20th anniversary trip, and slogging through an entire Michigan winter without respite. 0 stars. Do not recommend. I had to do outdoor recess twice this week, and almost quit my job. The second time, I got smart and borrowed snow pants from the girl I was subbing for. She's like 22 years old, and I had very little confidence they'd fit, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I managed to get them on, but I definitely couldn't zip them over my stomach. Haha. Thank goodness for coats! I was very grateful for the warmth they provided, even if I waddled like a penguin the whole time I wore them. 

2. On one of my days off this week I decided to be productive and deep clean the dishwasher. It hasn't been getting things very clean, and I've been putting off cleaning the filter . . . for good reason. That thing was incredibly disgusting. I also discovered a panel that kind of holds the filter down that I didn't realize until now was removable. It's supposed to be a mesh-type thing, but all of the holes were clogged with nastiness. No wonder the dishes weren't getting clean. Anyway, I scrubbed everything, used copious amounts of baking soda and vinegar, put it all back together again . . . and now the dishwasher won't work. This is the second time I've broken something by cleaning it. A couple years ago, I deep cleaned the bathtub/shower in our main bathroom. The next day, water started pouring into the basement every time someone showered. We haven't used it since then. All five of us share the one shower in the basement like we're pioneers or something. I've taken everything apart in the dishwasher, replaced it again, had Justin try, read the manual, searched online . . . to no avail. It starts, the motor runs for a few minutes, then it turns itself off. 🤦🤦🤦 This is why I don't clean. 

3. I did our taxes this week with much trepidation. I can't remember if I've written about this before, but Justin and I lost our medicaid last year, so we used marketplace insurance for the first time. Because we're poor we qualified for a tax credit that lowered our payment to almost nothing. But I heard that the tax "credit" was actually an advance on our tax refund and I was worried that we'd get nothing back this year. I must have heard wrong, though, because we got almost exactly the same amount this year as we did last year! (Actually, we're bringing home $20 more! 💰💰💰) Whew! Praise the Lord! And truly, when I added up our W2s and realized what we made last year, I'm not sure it's fair to say we're "poor" anymore. I was astonished by the number. Haha. If you'd told me ten years ago that we'd make that much someday, I would've wept with joy. It's amazing, though, that we still have debt, and still feel like we live paycheck to paycheck. 

4. The good news is we've been doing better than I expected at keeping to our new budget! I know, I know. It's been like 6 weeks. But for the first time in a long time we brought in more than we spent in the month of January! Don't worry. We're not totally reckless. We pay our bills. And the credit card debt is on a 0% interest card that I make payments on faithfully. We're just used to living a little outside of our means and having to shuffle things around sometimes. I'm hopeful that sticking to this budget will give us more margin for emergencies, and help us pay off that last little bit of debt. It's helpful that Justin and I both have the app on our phones. I've always handled the money (#controlfreak), but now that I know he will see every cent I spend, I'm more careful with it. He would never yell at me, but I don't want him to be disappointed! Haha. 

5. I read a fiction book this week (Appalachian Song by Michelle Shocklee) that I didn't love. It was way too sad, I didn't like the ending, and all the obstacles were solved way too easily along the way. But it has gotten rave reviews in the Christian fiction community, so I think it's probably just a "me-problem." I also started two non-fiction books, but haven't finished either yet. The first is Prayer by Tim Keller. This is our book club selection with my ladies' group at church. I have serious issues with prayer, so I'm excited to dive into it. The second is one from the church library that came highly recommended called Made for People by Justin Whitmel Earley. I loved his book Habits of the Household, but I have some "triggers," for lack of a better word, about friendship, so it's been a little harder to read than I expected. That said, I did take something from it that is going to be my "What Sadie Learned" this week . . .

6. It's actually more a "lifelong observation by Sadie that this book reinforced." In one of the first chapters, he says that a foundational element to true friendship is vulnerability. This is not hard for me. I literally share my vulnerabilities on a weekly basis through this medium of blogging. And I'm nearly as open with people in real life. But he described it as letting yourself fail in front of others instead of putting on the constant front of having it all together. I don't have the book in front of me, and I won't explain it nearly as eloquently as he does, but this is something I've noticed. Who are some of the people you know personally who you admire the most? Who do you love to spend time with? Is it the people who brag nonstop about their accomplishments, put others down to make themselves look better, or can only talk about themselves? I doubt it. I bet it's the people who are humble. People who ask you questions about yourself. People who don't have it all together. 

Case in point: Lucy had her homecoming "dance" last week, and I ended up taking pictures of her friend group with all the other moms. As we all walked out to the parking lot without our daughters, someone nonchalantly said something about, "I had such a difficult day with that girl," and we all huddled around in the freezing cold to say, "Me too!" or "I'm so glad I'm not the only one," or "Teenage girls, amiright?!" I don't know most of these women well, and I'd consider most of them more accomplished in their careers, parenting skills, and godliness than me. But having a shared weakness (parenting teenagers) brought us all together. We would not have rallied around a mom saying, "I'm so sad to leave my daughter at this two hour event because we had such a precious afternoon getting ready together." Lol. Maybe it's just the reality that misery loves company, but I think there's value in letting down our defenses in front of people. Again, that's oddly easy for me. We'll see how much I'm loving this book when we get to the chapter on hospitality. I'm much less willing to share the vulnerabilities surrounding my housekeeping, cooking skills, and ability to make conversation. Lol.

7. Pics and memes

Making elephant toothpaste

Lena's loving basketball and getting the hang of it! Even if she's usually the smallest one on the court.

Levi's been playing Oregon Trail at school and is obsessed. He told me, "It has really old fashioned graphics, like when you were a kid. Except it's in color." I'm almost positive our Oregon Trail was in color . . . right? 

Oops, I guess I only have one "meme."