Friday, June 3, 2011

5 Minute Friday

Today I'm going to try something new.  I got this from a blog I stalk.  I have no idea who this person is.  I found her through Carrie who I found through Kelly.  Whew! Follow all that? :-)  Anyway, I like to consider myself an amateur writer, so a writing exercise like this will be good for me.  I make no promises to do it every week.  I just liked this topic and have had it rolling around in my head all day, so here goes:

The Rules

  1. Indulge in five rich, delicious minutes of pure writing.
  2. Tell your readers you’re linking up here and invite them to dig in too.
  3. And most importantly, go visit, read, and compliment the five minute chef who served something up right before you.
This week's topic is: "Every Day."

7:00 Go

Every day I wake up worrying.  I worry that I'll get to work on time.  I worry that the coffeemaker started itself like its supposed to and that Lucy is warm enough in her thin pajamas.  I worry about the drivers on the opposite side of the road running into me.  I worry about the deer lurking in the forest.  And the bears lurking in the forest.  

I worry about feeding Lucy the same thing for breakfast every morning.  Is it bad for her to eat waffles and bananas every single day?  I worry about the amount of fruits and vegetables she eats, and what the heck lean protein and whole grains actually look like.  

I worry about the spots on her belly, the eczema on her back, that little bump on her eyelid.  I worry that I don't play with her enough, that I don't read to her enough, that I don't talk or sing or discipline her enough.  Then I worry that I discipline her too much.  She's only a year old for goodness sake. 

I worry that the milk I just gave her is curdled, that she doesn't talk enough for her age or walk well enough on her own, that other women must be better moms because their kids walked and talked at 9 months.  I worry that she's growing up too fast and that someday I'll have another baby and I won't love that baby as much as I love Lucy.  How could I possibly love anything as much as I love her? 

I worry that we won't be able to pay our bills, that my car will break down, that we'll never start a retirement fund or a college fund or a vacation fund.  

Before I go to bed at night, I take a tiny yellow pill that promises to help me not worry so much.  It's working, wouldn't you say?

7:05 Stop. 

2 comments:

  1. Oh Sadie! How I wish you lived close so I could take you with me to my "Calm My Anxious Heart" study!! Talking with women who have fought with and conquered extreme anxiety would do you a lot of good.

    Read Philippians 4:6-8. See that big list of "think on these things"? Every time you start worrying about something you need to stop, take it to God and leave that worry before Him as an offering, and choose to think on one of those things mentioned in this verse. I like this because it's not abstract... it's an action. Stop your train of thought and start a new one.

    I want to just say "aw, hugs! I know how you feel," but even more than that I want you to conquer this anxiety. I hate what it does to you, and you know that's not what God wants for you.

    Maybe this should have been a private message, so you can delete it if you want to ;) LOVE you!

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  2. I've been quite the worrier myself. It was really bad in high school and college. I have issues with trust -- mostly just trusting that when I don't have control over something, it's ok. Matthew 6:25-34 is big for me. Hang in there!

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