Friday, June 24, 2011

A Little Less Wisdom

That's right - I had the wisdom removed right out of my head.  My wisdom teeth, that is.  All 4 of them.  And while I'm sure very few of you actually care to read about my surgery, I like to write.  I like to document things.  And I'm trying to stay up one more hour before taking my next dose of Vicodin.

Every time I go to the dentist, they harass me about the intense need for my wisdom teeth to be removed.  You'd think I was growing a third arm in my mouth the way they emphasize how badly they need to be taken out.  Seriously. Do they get a cut of the fee I paid the oral surgeon?  Anyway, we finally have dental insurance, and thanks to the escrow check, we had a little bit of cash in hand.  So off to the surgeon I went.

Justin couldn't get off work, so my lucky mom got to take me.  She just took my little sister a couple weeks ago, and my dad last week.  Apparently tooth issues run in the family.

Surprisingly, I wasn't that nervous.  I figured I'd do fine with the anesthesia since I just went under the knife a few months ago with the kidney stone saga.  And I've never heard of anyone dying of wisdom tooth extraction, so I was just excited to have a nice deep sleep.

I went to the offices of Palm, Panek, and Billups.  Yes, Panek.  What a name for a doctor! I had Dr. Palm, though, who was quite gruff and not the least bit pleasant.  Right before I fell asleep I remember him saying, "This is the stuff that will make you forget.  So you won't know if I'm mean to you or not."  Lol - what??

Anyway, I was surprised that they just brought me back to a room with a little dentist chair like the one I sit in when I get my teeth cleaned.  They leaned me back, sprayed some numbing stuff in my arm and slapped an IV in it.  The nurse told me the medicine would make me relax.  I remember giggling about something and thinking, "Wow. I'm acting weird already."  Then I remember thinking, "Ohhhh, this is what people are talking about when they say the ceiling is spinning."  It was literally spinning!!

The next thing I knew, the nurse was walking me back to recovery.  It's funny how spotty my memory is from that moment until I got home last night.  Little blips keep coming back to me.  I remember being astounded at how large my lips felt.  Haha.  But when Libby got her teeth pulled a couple weeks ago, she acted all goofy about her lips feeling so big, so I played it cool.  And I remember trying to find my tongue.  That numbness was a weird feeling!  I vaguely remember my mom telling me a story about a teenage boy in the waiting room who was scared to death.  And I remember someone making me stand up and asking me what day it was.  Some lady came in and wanted me to write a check.  My mom wrote it for me and apparently I signed it, though I don't remember that. Haha.  On the way home, my mom was on her cell phone with someone.  They must have asked if I was acting funny because Mom said, "No, not really.  She's just forgetful."  I must have been asking her the same questions over and over. Haha.

When we got home, I stumbled into the house and stood in the bathroom trying to replace my disgusting bloody gauze.  I knew I was about to pass out, but I really wanted to take my contacts out first. Haha.  I managed to pop them out and fall into bed without incident.  Mom came in with Vicodin and amoxicillin and the trash can in case I needed to puke.  She asked if I had an ice pack and I tried to tell her it was in the door of the freezer, but it was really hard to talk around the fuzz in my mouth . . . and my head.  I don't know if I actually did say that out loud or if she just figured it out.  Haha.

Since then, I've just been in a daze of oozing blood, a nasty taste in my mouth and an aching head and jaw.  I honestly think my head hurts more because of caffeine withdrawals than anything. I managed to down some Dr. Pepper today.  That helps.  One of my tooth holes still hurts really bad.  The other three are pretty much fine.  I'm on a steady diet of pudding, Jell-o, slimfast, and vicodin.  But I haven't lost any weight! How disappointing.  I almost passed out again when I was brushing my teeth this morning, but I managed to catch myself and just laid on the bathroom floor for a while.

I'm hoping by tomorrow I'll at least be able to drink some lukewarm coffee and maybe eat some ramen noodles?

This recovery stuff is for the birds.  I can't imagine my mouth ever being back to normal again.  Will I ever be able to eat chips or popcorn again?  Even the thought makes me shudder!

Well 100 useless bonus points if you made it to the end of this entry!! It took up some time for me and was fun to write.  I'll probably re-read it later and think it sounds ridiculous, but hey - I'm on drugs! Give me a break. :-)

Thanks to my mom for taking me, helping me out, and sitting in my living room reading magazines until Justin got home.  Thanks to Justin for catering to my every need and taking over the majority of the Lucy care.  Thanks to Niki for watching Lucy for a few hours tonight while I was dancing with the leprechauns in my head (aka - hopped up on more Vicodin than I was prescribed) and for the slushie that temporarily restored my mouth to its gloriously numbed state. And thanks to all my facebook friends for putting up with my whining and giving me some helpful hints!

Love to the masses!


  1. Bonus points for me too! This was actually really fun to read... probably because I've been there so I know exactly what you're talking about :P Believe it or not you WILL get better and be able to eat any kind of junk food you want!! Woot!

  2. Awww what a story. :) This is something I need done at some point... Every time I get x-rays the dentist tells me "you should get those out". I have all 4, they're sideways, and have never poked through. And they've never given me problems. I would never know they're there other than the x-rays. So until we get good insurance for this kind of stuff, they're staying. Hope you heal quickly!!


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