Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Spiritual Parenting Part 2

This is part two of my review on Spiritual Parenting by Michelle Anthony.  If you want to read part one, scroll down to the entry before this one.

7. The Environment of Course Correction
Don't just punish. Discipline.  Get to the root of the issue. Use the circumstance as a teachable moment. Bring healing from sin.

3 Steps based on Hebrews 12:11-13
1. It must be painful
- Different pain for different children. No "one size fits all" discipline. This is the punishment part: spanking, time outs, natural consequences.
2. Build them up in love. 
- After the punishment, say "I love you." Make physical contact - touch, hug, etc. Explain the need for discipline.
- Offer words of encouragement: Give your kids hope that they can do better next time. Pray for God's strength to help them obey.
3. Make a straight and level path.
- Tell them what it means to change and that they'll need God's help
- Give them "an idea of how they can navigate differently should the experience arise again." (163)

8. The Environment of Love and Respect
Love and Discipline
- "We can communicate that we reject a behavior without communicating that we reject the person." (178)
- Don't withhold love to communicate that you find a behavior unacceptable.
-"While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom. 5:8)

  • Anthony had a fight with her daughter. Daughter ran to her room crying. Anthony followed her just to be with her. "I'm here because I love you and I want to be with you, even though you have made a poor decision and you're angry with me." (179)
Love and Repentance
- "God's kindness leads you toward repentance." (Rom. 2:4)
  • "There are times when we must go to our children purely because they don't deserve it. We must show kindness when they are certain they will receive our wrath. We must give grace because this reflects the absolute paradox of loving the way God loves instead of loving the way the world loves." (180)
- Listen generously, ask clarifying questions, make eye contact, touch
- Show it before expecting it
  • With older kids, ask how they feel disrespected and remedy it. Explain, however, that you are still the parent.
Rely on God 
- Pray for the ability to love and respect your children as God would.

9. The Environment of Knowing
- Teach children not just to know about God, but to know him relationally.
- Faith teaching occurs best in the natural, daily flow of life. Example: point out God's work in creation.
- The goal of this book is that our children will learn to:
  • Hear and know God's voice 
  • Desire to obey it
  • Obey it in the power of the Spirit (not their own strength)
"As we learn to know His character and those things that bring Him sadness or pleasure, we learn how to live our lives accordingly. His Word and His Spirit act as guides for us to understand what it means to live in relationship with God our Father." (195)

10. The Environment of Modeling
Begin with the End in Mind
- "What kinds of things do I want my kids to imitate? And how will I model those things in an intentional environment?" (203)
Modeling our Mistakes
- Admit shortcomings and failures. Identify when your behavior is not congruent with that of Jesus. Take responsibility and model "making it right."
The Power of the Spirit
- Don't just "try harder" every time you fail. Be a model of abiding in Christ and letting the Holy Spirit transform you to be more like Jesus. [love this one!]
Putting Flesh on Faith
- "Modeling answers the questions, 'How do I practically put into practice what I have learned? How do I live in a relationship with God and others? How do I obey God's word? How do I abide in Christ? How do I let the Spirit guide me?" (201)

So I was wrong. There are only 10 principles. Not 12. Haha. So there you have my notes. I encourage you to check the book out yourself. It was a good one! Next up: Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. 

1 comment:

  1. Great things to think about! Sometimes I feel left out when reading parenting books simply because a lot of the principles don't apply to a one-year-old who can't grasp the concepts. But it sounds like there was a lot of practical application for us all in this book!


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