The Saturday 6

1. Here's the Keto update you've all been dying for. I weighed myself on Sunday after one full week of dieting and was down eight pounds. It was starting to feel worth it, even if my pants were still too tight and I still looked 6 months pregnant. On Wednesday I had my yearly physical. When I stepped on the scale I was only down 2 pounds from my starting weight. Checked on my own scale the next morning - sure enough - gained most of it back. 🤦As of this morning, I'm down five pounds from my starting weight. Guess I should take what I can get.

2. I've also been flipping exhausted all week - like beyond my normal levels of fatigue. I did a little research into Keto fatigue and decided my problem is probably that I'm not truly getting into Ketosis - so I'm not getting energy from fat, but I'm also not getting it from carbs. Blurg. So I started logging every single thing I ate this week. It's annoying and depressing. I realized that during my sugar-withdrawal-fueled desperation last week, I bought anything and everything labeled "low carb" or "Keto" that contained chocolate. And I ate it all. I have to learn that just because it only has 3 carbs doesn't mean I can eat 4 of them in one day. Blurg. Again. Two more weeks.

3. For meals this week, we had brats, copycat Chick Fil A grilled chicken sandwiches, white chicken chili with biscuits , and probably some other stuff that I can't remember right now because I'm exhausted. Nothing is as good as the Internet says it will be - even when I buy the stupid expensive ingredients. By Friday, I started googling what I could eat at restaurants. My mom came to watch the kids and Justin and I headed to Olive Garden. I came prepared and ordered "chicken alfredo over broccoli instead of pasta." I didn't get Dr Pepper, said no to breadsticks, even ordered the salad with no croutons and dressing on the side.

The food was honestly better than I expected. I even enjoyed the broccoli when it was smothered in alfredo sauce. But I was a bit astonished when the bill came. I naively assumed I'd get a discount for ordering a pasta dish with no pasta, and maybe pay a slight upcharge for the broccoli. Imagine my surprise when I paid $17.59 for the pasta dish plus $3.99 for the broccoli. Since Justin is a good sport and encourager, he's been doing lazy Keto and ordered the same thing as me at Olive Garden. So it was not a cheap meal - especially considering all we didn't get. Grr. Lesson learned. At least I ate the leftovers for lunch today and got a second meal out of it.

4. Ok, enough about that. I know I'm mind-numbingly boring lately. My physical was fine on Wednesday - it's basically just an excuse to get my meds refilled. Still depressed? Yep. Want to kill yourself? Nope. Want these pills again? Yep. But this time, they wanted to do some blood work. It was 9 a.m. and it was all I could do that morning to chug a cup of coffee in between getting the kids to school and getting myself to the doctor. So I was dehydrated and my veins would not cooperate. Finally, the phlebotomist said, "Let's just do the butterfly needle." I didn't even feel it go in! Why can't we do that one every time? My blood work is all normal except for slightly lower than usual LDL cholesterol (but I hadn't truly fasted thanks to the heavy whipping cream in my coffee, so I'm taking that with a grain of salt). I also had slightly elevated "mean platelet volume." My doctor wasn't concerned, but Dr. Google says I probably have cancer, and high mpv "is associated with reduced survival rate" so there's that. It's been nice knowing you.

5. Levi has been having a hard time at school lately. His teacher has to peel him off of me every day, and he's naughty in class. I've never had a kid be naughty in class before. I finally decided it's because Levi doesn't have the "people pleasing" gene that the girls do. If he doesn't want to do something or is feeling anxious about something, he doesn't care what other people will think if he acts out. He's also been having random stomach issues. I don't know how much of it is for attention or to get out of things and how much of it is real. I also think he's majorly picking up on Lena's anxiety. After her discussion last week about how running at P.E. after snack makes her stomach hurt Levi suddenly doesn't want to go out for recess after lunch because it makes his stomach hurt. I may have written this before, but I seriously think the hardest part of parenting (so far) is the indecision. Does Levi really have a stomach issue? Do I need to take him to the doctor? Is he just looking for attention? If so, why? Does he have anxiety? Is he acting out because of his sugar consumption or lack of vitamins? Does he need counseling? Medication? A diet? Does anyone else feel like all of your kids are complete hot messes and you have ruined them? It's not just one kid with problems. All three of them have issues. And I have issues. There are too many issues and not enough solutions.

6. Wowza. This is depressing and I really need to go to bed. Look at these pictures and be happy.